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MiscellaneousHappy Holidays - Jeep Poem
Posted by mike on 2008/12/24 9:56:00 (1780) reads

One of our readers sent this in - I was unable to track down its source, so if anyone knows where it came from, please let me know.

Twas the night before Christmas, And all through the trails,
Every Toyota was stranded, Their progress like snails.
They had no shovels, No rope and no winch,
No CB, no cell-phone, To get out of their pinch.
When out from a mud pit, There arose such a clatter;
All the 'wheelers came running To see what was the matter.
I saw some poor Toyota All covered in crud;
He had blown his motor trying to get free of the mud.
As he stood there I noticed His glowing red face,
And I knew in an instant He wanted out of this place.
I glanced at his roof, It was all I could see;
He pleaded for help from my winch and from me.
So I sprang to the front Of my trusty old toy,
Spooled out the winch cable, Said "Hook 'er up, boy!"
He went for a swim In the watery hell, and
I laughed as he turned brown, And started to smell.
He hooked up the cable to his buried front hook,
I put a coat on the line Like it says in the book.
I winched him out quickly, A very fast session;
And I charged him a C-note, To teach him a lesson.
I then drove my Jeep through the same mud and same muck;
No problem for me, 'Cause I had a REAL truck!
I wound down my window as I drove out of sight,
And smugly yelled…

Next time; Stay home Christmas night!

Happy Holidays from!

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Poster Thread
Posted: 2009/1/4 16:42  Updated: 2009/1/4 16:42
Just popping in
Joined: 2009/1/4
Posts: 15
 Re: Happy Holidays - Jeep Poem
Here's one that I saw floating around:

If santa had a jeep.

As our Jeep was a-jeeping
Crawling rock and slinging mud,
As our wheels were a-wheeling
And singing Thud-Thud-Thud.

As our Wrangler was a-wrangling
And our Air bags were a-sway,
We thought how awesome it would be
If our Jeep were Santa's Sleigh.

So we called to the North Pole
From our direct line.
We spoke to Santa's Engineer
And told him what we had in mind!

Genius! He exclaimed
Let me run it by the Big Man!
Santa loved the idea.
He thought it was grand!

The Elves began building
With fenders and grill,
Adding Mickey Thompson tires
Skid plates and all the Jeep Frills.

It was Red and It was shiny
And it had 8 off-road lights.
The Jeep had a 13 inch lift kit
And it looked like it could take flight

But how would this Jeep Sleigh
Lift up in the sky?
It is unbeatable on ground
But how can it fly?

Christmas Eve came too soon
And it still couldn't fly.
Santa's Elves and Engineer
Had big tears in their eyes.

When what to their wondering
Eyes did appear...
But Santa with his toy bag
And all his jeep gear

He climbed into his Sleigh
And said "Step aside!"
The Jeep began flying
"Let the Big Man Ride!"

As he locked in his lockers
And flew out of sight.
Merry Christmas to all
Echoed all through the night.

Poster Thread
Posted: 2008/12/29 23:11  Updated: 2008/12/29 23:11
Just popping in
Joined: 2008/12/12
Posts: 4
 Re: Happy Holidays - Jeep Poem
thats a classic mate stick it to the tojos any time and loner get a life

Poster Thread
Posted: 2008/12/24 19:02  Updated: 2008/12/24 19:05
Just can't stay away
Joined: 2006/1/26
Posts: 116
 Re: Happy Holidays - Jeep Poem
Stolen from newsgroup R.A.M.J.A.W(rec auto makers Jeep & Willys

credit to the writers

The Winch that Saved Christmas
Copyright 1997 by Rich and Greg Lewis

The wind was quite heavy on one Christmas Eve,

Santa traveled by ground, behind schedule, if you believe.

He was cruising through California in his mighty red sleigh,

And said, "If I don't hurry, there will be no Christmas Day."

Blitzen turned around and said, "Santa, you won't fail,

We Reindeer found a short-cut called the Rubicon Trail."

They headed for the trail, but when they got there,

The rocks looked much bigger than they did from the air.

Up hill the reindeer struggled to make the sleigh go,

And getting around those rocks made the progress quite slow.

They tried really hard but there just wasn't a way,

To get axle articulation from an old wooden sleigh.

Where the rocks are quite steep, Santa ran out of luck,

Even with nine reindeer, he finally got stuck.

The Rubicon Trail is no place for a sleigh full of toys,

Santa sighed, "I've failed all those good girls and boys!"

"They'll rise in the morning, leave their rooms and say,

'Under the tree, it is empty, is there NO CHRISTMAS DAY?'"

They couldn't budge the sleigh, no matter how hard they tried,

Santa felt so hopeless he sat down and cried.

Suddenly in the distance came a loud clanking sound,

Like an old wind-up toy that's been too tightly wound.

They saw it come over a boulder with a creep,

A rock crawlin', mud boggin' CJ-5 Jeep.

Its fenders were dented, and its sides were all scratched,

The top had big holes that hadn't been patched.

But its tires were big ones, 35 inch,

And on its front bumper was a shiny new winch.

"If you're taking the Rubicon," the CJ started to say,

"Go with a group and get mud tires for that sleigh."

Santa said, "I'm sorry, I feel like a jerk,"

The old CJ-5 said nothing, it just went to work

The sleigh was unstuck and free in a cinch,

Thanks to that CJ and its shiny new winch.

Santa went on to fulfill Christmas day,

With the old CJ-5 leading the way.

Now many years have passed and the reindeer are older,

They don't fly very well when the weather gets colder.

But Santa's still out there every year without fail,

Fulfilling his promise in the air and on the trail.

On Christmas Eve, if you chance to look in the sky,

You just might see him in that old CJ-5.

Poster Thread
Posted: 2008/12/24 16:13  Updated: 2008/12/24 16:13
Just can't stay away
Joined: 2006/2/24
Posts: 71
 Re: Happy Holidays - Jeep Poem
I know that's not supposed to be serious.

Problem is why is a poem about a smug douchebebag in a Jeep spreading Christmas cheer by charging some poor stranded bastard a $100 and then gloating about it either funny, Christmas-y, or an image you actually want to associate with the kind of person who would own a Jeep?

I just see a peom about an asshole not a funny Christmas-y tale about Jeeps. Bad Choice IMHO.

Poster Thread
Posted: 2008/12/24 21:04  Updated: 2008/12/24 21:04
Home away from home
Joined: 2005/10/8
From: NW Indiana, USA
Posts: 154
 Re: Happy Holidays - Jeep Poem
Merry Christmas!

1998 XJ Cherokee, An Official Prius Recovery Unit

Poster Thread
Posted: 2008/12/29 23:14  Updated: 2008/12/29 23:14
Just popping in
Joined: 2008/12/12
Posts: 4
 Re: Happy Holidays - Jeep Poem
get a life mate it is ment to be funny dont take it to heart unless YOU own a tojo

Poster Thread
Posted: 2008/12/24 14:52  Updated: 2008/12/24 14:53
Just can't stay away
Joined: 2006/6/30
From: Kelowna, BC
Posts: 124
 Re: Happy Holidays - Jeep Poem
Merry Christmas from all of us at BCJEEPCLUB.CA !
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